November 09, 2003
The Unexplained
Yesterday, I picked up Zach and Travis from SeaTac (welcome back from San Francisco, ladies), and the three of us went out for Vietnamese soup with Chuck.
Afterwards, it was resolved: the three of us (minus Chuck, feigning fatigue) were going to go see The Matrix: Revolutions at the Boeing IMAX Theater in Seattle Center.
We got there just before 9:00PM to discover that the only show that wasn't yet sold out was at 1:00AM. Eh, why not? Like good Seattlites, we popped on over to Starbucks (Sidenote: I do believe that Curtis, the head barista at the FHCRCs Double Helix espresso stand, is the best damn barista in Seattle; I missed his magic last night.), caffiened-up, watched a ballroom dancing competition ("No, Travis; I will not dance with you. But I'm sure Zach wants to."), and otherwise bummed around (timetoswaplifechangingstories,boys) until the fated hour. Discussions of politics eventually took over as we got in line to wait to enter the theater. I'll save those for another post.
On to the movie.
(Quit reading now if you haven't seen it, and don't want one drop of plot given away; though I'm not revealing much here.)
My expectations were actually quite low, based on what I'd already heard. I was expecting a good, entertaining, action/sci-fi flick, with some closure on The Matrix trilogy. Bigoncheesiness. Bigonspecialeffects. And I'll finally find out what the hell is going on with all those Agent Smiths.
The Bullets:
-I miss the old Oracle.
[Gloria Foster died suddenly just after finishing her scenes for The Matrix: Reloaded.]
-New Oracle was okay; but why go through the "I look different to you, don't I?" Jesus. Everyone knows the actress who played the old Oracle died. We're willing to accept that. We're not going to bitch and say, "Where's our Oracle? This movie sucks!" We'll find better reasons for saying that.
-Too much cheese! I felt like I should ask for a glass of wine during some of the more "patriotic" moments in the battle scences.
-The special effects were awesome; though Information Overload eventually set in as the Machines invaded Zion. I found momentary glances at my shoes or Travis' profile necessary to keep my cerebral cortex in this dimension.
-More Persephone! As a gay guy, may I just say that Monica Bellucci is beautiful. Now, why give her one freaking line and a five-minute scene? What the hell? (But lady, keep those mammaries tucked in; I don't care if you ARE wearing leather.)
[Persephone (Monica Bellucci), in her less-eyebrow-raising attire for The Matrix: Reloaded.]
-Merovingian, what happened? In Matrix #2, you were wiping your ass with silk... and now they practically wiped you off the screen.
-I just realized that I have photographs of two women in this post. And I'm not attracted to women.
-And now, the big question: WHERE'S MY PLOT CLOSURE? If you've seen The Matrix: Revolutions already, then you know what I'm talking about. And you can probably anticipate the twenty or thirty questions I already have about the ending. My biggest fear is that the ambiguity is to set us up for The Matrix trilogy + one more film. Yikes.
All-in-all, still a fun action flick; but boyohboy, what a bad way to tie up loose ends. See it for who'sgonnadie, whatdidtheOraclemean, what'llhappentoNeo - but don't expect to walk away with deep answers.
Or sometimes, any answers at all!