After four days home letting my immune system battle whatever microbe foe is causing me to keep a box of tissues (soft, wholesome, swollen with aloe) within reach, I thought it'd be safe to venture back to work today.
It turns out I wasn't ready.
Comments to me:
Meng-Chao: "It looks like whatever is working its way through lab is hitting you the hardest..."
Teresa: "You look like you're still really sick."
Jon: "James, you don't look so good."
Patrick: "I feel like sh*t, but it looks like you feel worse."
Rachel: "I like your pants." (Okay, so that has nothing to do with illness... but I'll take any compliment I can get!)
I appreciate the sympathy here, people... but c'mon, do I really look that bad? Honestly? (Don'tanswerthat.)
So, I endured lab meeting with a box of tissues, got a modest amount of work done (about an hour's worth) afterwards, gave up, and retreated back to my bed. Move along home... with my nice pants. I've furthermore resigned Jamesprideanddignity (I keep a few shreds of each around for emergency) and made an appointment with my ever-patient-and-most-clever physician. Hopefully she can shed some light on all this, or at least tell me, "You're doing all you can. Now stay at home a few more days..." That'd be ohsosweet - a physician's excuse to stay in bed, blow my nose, and read books. Is this heaven?
(No. You left Iowa.)
Post-State-of-the-Union-Address Despair (Disgrace?) that we're going to have to endure four more years of the Bush Administration and lame-ass, "patriotic," liberal-bashing speeches gave way to oh-I'm-pissed-as-hell-at-Bushness. Recapping his speech:
--If all those nations he named really are part of the "coalition," why are American taxpayers (already bloated under a roaring defecit) bearing the brunt of the cost for Iraqi reconstruction? How about turning this over to the United Nations, or at least begging other bigwigs for forgiveness for flipping them the bird by going-it-(virtually)-alone in Iraq and supplicating until they agree to help us help the Iraqis. Oh, and let's allow the Iraqis to elect their own representatives for a change. Ethnic "caucuses" my ass.
--Cut the defecit in half in five years? Let's see some rock-solid plans. Plus, should we trust you with the checkbook anymore? Let's see... as I recall, there wasn't a defecit as big as the Jovian System when you took office. Balance the books, for once. If you leave my generation with skyrocketing taxes of every kind to pay this off, I will personally defecate on your tombstone. (Call this viral-induced rage.)
--If my tax cut comes at the cost of that huge defecit (see reference above to the Jovian System), then I'd rather eat it now by paying higher taxes, rather than eating it at the age of eighty when I'm working as a grocery-bagger (in addition to three other jobs) to make ends meet. "Oh, Canada," anyone?
--Bush, what "job growth"? The economy barely created 1,000 new jobs last month. "Economic recovery" at the top of the pyramid isn't as sound as it seems when an earthquake at the foundation is tearing down the whole structure brick-by-brick.
--Ahem: gay marriage. Activist judges, eh? I realize Bush must bow to the right, but since when have two men in love (or two women in love) produced as much of a threat (or a greater threat) to American society than Osama bin Laden? Maybe I'm biased (hell, I'm gay)... But I define "family" with as much flexibility as I define "diet food" (Mmmmm... chocolate... good for dieting). Consider this: "A group of people who love each other." Hence, my greatest compliment to you (the general reader - blood relation or no) will forever be, "You are my family." Growing up seeing families (yes, families) of grandparents supporting grandkids, or a single mom supporting adopted children, or older siblings supporting younger sibilings, I certainly won't object to loving gay couples getting married (yes, married) and starting families of their own. It's not judicial activism; it's equality under the Constitution. Amend that sacred document? I'll defecate on your tombstone and emigrate!
--Faith-based groups?... Six Words: the Separation of Church and State. Live it, learn it, love it. Religion is a personal matter... to me, at least; so forgive me if I have difficulty understanding how and why certain right-wing groups see the need to make it a huge part of public life.
Whew. I have purged the demons.
This house is clear.
(Move along home.)
