February 13, 2004

Sensations

After dinner last night, I was driving Zach to his apartment... as I drove, I was suddenly struck with some discomfort around my chest... nothing major, mind you. Just something mild and unpleasant. I gave it no mind and kept driving. Then, the mild discomfort was replaced with a burning sensation - just around or below my heart. I clued Zach in on this, though he could already tell that something was up.

"Well, maybe you have heartburn."

Me? Heartburn?

"Zach, that's ridiculous. I'm only twenty-three."

(Because, obviously, it's much more likely that I was having a heart attack; or Dengue Fever; or the nasty side effects of a Vulcan mind meld.)

But me? Get heartburn? Zach admitted that he got it, in addition to some other anxious conditions periodically at the beginning of law school. But I'm not in law school. I'm not in any angst-ridden situation. It's just me - eating the same, doing the same, acting the same. And suddenly my heart burns?

So, taking-Zach-home evolved into keeping-James-from-panicking. My insane brain manufactured other maladies - a tight chest, disorientation, you get the idea. Thus, taking-Zach-home became buying-James-his-first-antacids.

Antacids.

For heartburn? But... I'm twenty-three! I can't get heartburn! No one I know gets heartburn! Especially at twenty-three! Ludicrous! There must obviously be an alternative explanation. (Like a Vulcan mind meld gone awry?) So, am I dying? American media teaches me that only sixty-year-olds get "heartburn." Damn premature aging. Damn defective human cage.

Posted by James at February 13, 2004 09:46 AM
Comments

my beloved Helicobacter pylori! such a lil' fighter, resistant to Metronidazole (due to the rdxA oxidoreductase gene), colonizing almost 50% of the population! awww.....

did anyone guess yet that i did my Hutch internship in an H. pylori lab? its quite a cool little bug; its vibroid AND has a flagella!

okay, enough nerd talk. James, I say bring on the Tums, and lay off the chili-cheese dogs. mmmm, chili-cheeeeeeeeeeeese. damnit, now i'm hungry.

Posted by: jill at February 17, 2004 02:33 PM

Damn H. pylori. Scourge of stomach cancer, ulcers, and now heartburn! There's a pylori lab at the Hutch - maybe I should volunteer as a subject of study. :)

Posted by: James at February 15, 2004 06:23 PM

I get heartburn all the time James! In my italian family we call is "agida" (prnounced ah-jih-dah). I even got it sometimes as a kid. Eat more broccoli. Cruciferous vegetables kill off bacteria that can sometimes cause heartburn (h. pylori).

Posted by: Angelique at February 14, 2004 02:04 PM

Heartburn schmartburn. Indigestion, now there's a legitimate concern. It is EVIL, and if I had enough time, I could probably blame it on the Bush Administration.

Posted by: sam at February 13, 2004 12:14 PM

So how long did the feeling last? If it comes back, maybe you should go see your doctor. You're almost for sure not dying but it doesn't hurt to get checked out.

Posted by: Todd at February 13, 2004 10:28 AM