I just heard that a close friend of mine will be leaving Seattle this summer to go to graduate school in San Francisco. I'm terribly happy for her - hell, she's going to get her M.D./Ph.D. But while I wore my best "aw shucks" smile for her, my insides were screaming, "Noooooooo!"
Do I have right to be upset? I'm so proud of her, and I know she's leaving to do Great Things. But I still irrationally wish she wasn't leaving! And she isn't the only one of my friends leaving - another is off to the University of Chicago - and still another may leave for schools on the East Coast.
I'm pleased as punch that they're all following their dreams. But at the same time, I'm torn - I fear that the small world I've built up for myself here over the past ten months is leaving, piece by piece. Worse yet, am I just being left behind? While all the other young, fresh-out-of-college twentysomethings go back to school or get their dream jobs, am I just left alone standing in my messy bedroom shouting to the ceiling, "Hey! What about me?!"
The Hutch is not my dream job. Hell, I don't know what my dream job would be; nor do I know if grad school/whatever school is something I'm capable of undertaking. I feel like My Car has just sputtered and stalled on the Highway (of Life?), while my fellow Youngsters zoom past.
Am I crazy?... Maybe I need a new alternator.
In the meantime, my friend and I are having coffee tonight. I want to hear all the details of her upcoming move, the program she's entering, etc. She's off to San Francisco this summer, and Seattle will miss her. Worse yet, I'll miss her more.
Posted by James at April 1, 2004 09:38 AM:-(. Its sad. If only I had more time to convince her that Seattle was/is the place to be. Rest assured, as people go other fill voids. For instance, so Paul leaves...in comes Erik. Hadley leaves...in comes Sarah. Its tough, transitions always are, but things have a wonderful way of working out and working out in good ways.
xoxox
