July 29, 2004

The Suspense

I heard it first from Andrew Sullivan... someone on The Simpsons is coming out of the closet!

We don't know who yet. It's a regular/semi-regular on the show, and will happen this season (their 16th, I believe) during an episode where Springfield legalizes gay marriage. Of course, everyone's saying Waylon Smithers... and I sincerely hope they're wrong. What a letdown! I mean, it's hardly a secret for him, anyway.

If not Smithers, then who? There's a whole list of homo-references from The Simpsons besides Smithers. Mr. Sullivan pointed out Chief Wiggum, which isn't a bad thought... but, then again, it isn't a good thought, either. The possibilities are endless... though I think picking one of the kids (Lisa the Lesbian? Rod or Tod? And I'm not even going to go there with Maggie...) is just wrong. Perhaps Barney, Moe, or Ned Flanders? Sideshow Mel?

Well, we can all guess and re-guess until we're green in the face. But, if Smithers isn't going to come out, who will? My money's on...

Patty Bouvier!

pattyselma.gif
The lesbian is on the left... Perhaps?

Twin-sister Selma has been married and divorced twice (Sideshow Bob and Troy McClure). Patty says she isn't as desperate. But I recall the Closeted Float in Springfield's gay pride parade. And who can forget what she said after seeing Homer naked: "There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality."

Am I right? Only time will tell.

[By the by, why the hell do I care so much about this? It's just a friggin' TV show!]

Posted by James at July 29, 2004 10:00 AM
Comments

i'm hoping it's ned flanders, just so it gives the show a chance to take a huge jab at fundamentalism.

and i really hope its NOT skinner. that would just be playing right into the "pathetic old closet case" stereotype.

Posted by: dave at July 30, 2004 02:23 PM

It's okay, the presidential election is just a TV show too.

Posted by: Faustus, M.D. at July 30, 2004 07:20 AM

I go for Moe. He's got a vaguely effeminate side, ya know?

Posted by: Sarah at July 29, 2004 06:01 PM

Let me clarify my earlier response. I think James, you are right, the gay character will be Patty. BUT I do think it would be interesting to have Lisa be a lesbian. Sure she would be an 8 year old lesbian, but Lisa has always shown herself to be very precocious and ahead of her peers developmentally.

Posted by: zach at July 29, 2004 04:39 PM

I think you are right. It would be much more interesting with someone like Lisa the lesbian!

Posted by: zach at July 29, 2004 01:50 PM