When I was arranging flights for my interviews, I didn't have complete control over when I'd be flying. Since UCSF and U. Iowa are paying for the flights and hotel stays, after all, I can understand that they would like to adjust the flights to properly balance cost with convenience. But, upon closely inspecting the flight schedules today (read: giving them a 30-second glance in between lab meeting preparations), I noticed something horrible:
My flights are not scheduled a reasonable times to allow me to visit the airport bar.
You see, I'm slightly afraid of heights. Well, slightly may be misleading. I get vertigo changing a lightbulb. I can look out the window of a skyscraper in downtown Seattle and admire the picturesque view of the Olympics or Mount Rainier, but don't you DARE let me look down - lest you want to hear me scream like a girl and watch every pore on my body excrete enough sweat to lube a yak.
To make matters worse, I also have issues about giving up control... you know what I mean: releasing the responsibilities of my life and well-being to another person. But, this "issue" only pops up in certain situations. I saw enough airplane disaster movies as a child to scar my soul and, when compounded with the "loss of control" issue, I have to resist the urge to ask the pilots to pass several comprehensive exams on physics, meteorology, calculus, navigation, and Israeli history (just because I think Israeli history is interesting), and submit urine and blood samples before I'll even set foot on the damn plane. And, while in the air, I'm at any time vulnerable to this crippling fear that any of the following will occur:
1. Wings fall off.
2. Engines fall off.
3. Plane is struck by comet.
The list goes on and on...
And so, you can understand why I usually need a drink or two just prior to boarding to calm the nerves. A beer or two will do fine, if I've the time. If I'm in a rush, I've even been known to do a shot of tequilla before bolting to my gate. But, since I also have issues about drinking before noon, I also avoid morning flights at all cost.
But, when flying to and from Iowa, not only will I have morning flights, I'll also barely have enough time to make my connecting flights in Dallas, let alone take time for a visit to the airport bar. Damn. For San Francisco, though, things are looking brighter. Though, one flight leaves at 11:00AM. I wonder if that's close enough to noon to allow me to stretch the drinking rule...
On a completely different note, I do believe I am the only American male in the twenty-first century who does not have sideburns. Never have, and probably never will.
Posted by James at January 25, 2005 09:34 PM