Most people get eye infections that have to be treated with antibiotic drops.
I get eyelid infections that have to be treated with eye creams.
Actually, sometimes I wonder, in the back of my mind, if Dr. E, my physician, really just picked the more difficult (and embarrassing) treatment as a Humbling Experience. Or just as a joke. I can imagine her entering the Doctor Lounge ('cause, of course, it makes perfect sense that all doctors have a secret lounge [think of the Batcave] in which to meet and make fun of their patients)...
Other doctor: "Hi, Dr. E! What's so funny?"
Dr. E: "James came in my office again today..."
Other doctor: "Aaaaand?! Don't keep us waiting! I nearly busted a gut laughing about his one flat foot!"
Dr. E: "This time, he got an eyelid infection."
Other doctor: "Eyelid?! Is that possible?"
Dr. E: "I suppose it is. Anyway, get this: for his treatment, I gave him the cream!!! You should've seen the look on his face when I told him, 'You have to put this in your eye. Don't be surprised if your vision is blurry for the next hour or so.'"
Other doctor: "It's like clubbing a baby seal."
Dr. E: "Next time, I'm going to tell him that stepping on a crack will break his mother's back. Unless, of course, he wears a bra."
Indeed.
Posted by James at March 29, 2005 06:27 AM