Lately, Zach has been having some problems with King County Metro.
Though the bus faithfully takes him to work each morning, he's been plagued the past few days by a lack of seats on board. He's had to stand during the long ride downtown. Unfortunately, for Zach, this lack-of-seats means that he cannot read while riding to work. But, reading on the way to work is sacred to him.
We all have times like that, right? Or, if not, you should, naughty human. For me, it's lunchtime at work: I don't use that time usually to socialize with co-workers. I read, instead. It's a wonderous habit I picked up while working as a cashier in college, to avoid a small handful of co-workers who I didn't like, and who didn't like me in return. I simply brought it with me to Seattle. Of course, lunchtime isn't the only time I read. But, I consider it sacred - I must read during this time, this very personal period. For Zach, he reads on the bus in the mornings.
So, having to stand on the bus hampers Zach's Sacred Time, and he's unfortunately gotten to work the past few days in a very sour mood. To me, it's all entirely understandable. I'm sure I'll become equally sour when graduate school gives me scientific papers to read during lunch hour, rather than the latest alternative history novel or biography of Bloody Mary Tudor.
Yesterday, however, Zach found himself on a bus that had one seat unoccupied by human backside. Unfortunately, as he wrote me later that morning in an e-mail, the seat had a lady's bag on it, and she was sitting in the next seat. He asked her to move it, and she refused.
At this point, I should reveal that Zach doesn't back down from a fight. And, if he believes he's in the right, woe to you.
Apparently, he put his foot down. I'll let his e-mail do the talking:
"I asked her to move the bag so I could sit down and she refused. I didn't like her answer so I got into a fight with her. I told her that the bag didn't pay a fare and therefore couldn't rest on a seat. I said it was rude, but typical of people in this city to be so against sitting next to someone. Eventually, she relented and I got to sit down. I was mad and now I am tired."
As you can see, he also has little patience with Seattlites. At least, that is, when they're interrupting his Sacred Time.
Later on that day, he rang me at work.
Zach: "Did you read my e-mail?"
Me: "Yeah... I'm so proud of you!"
Zach: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah. Way to stand up for yourself!"
Zach: "Well yeah. She was being stupid. There was a seat there and I wanted to sit down and read."
Me: "Good for you! Let it never be said that you don't know how to draw a line in the sand. You stood up for your convictions! I'm proud."
Zach: "Exactly. I wasn't going to take it any longer. I finally found a bus that had a seat available, and I was going to take it. I was standing up for my convictions."
Me: "Yeah. And it's not like it was an undreasonable demand."
Zach: "Yeah."
Me: "How very Picard of you."
Zach: "Huh?"
Me: "You know. From First Contact, when Picard is like, 'The line must be drawn here. This far! No further!'"
Zach: "Oh, God."
Me: "Oh yes! And then he's like, "And I will make them pay - "
Zach: "Can I go now?"
Me: "Oh, shut up."
Zach: "Finished?"
Me: "Yeah. But was it like that? Did she have a big bag?"
Zach: "Um, I'm not sure."
Me: "Was she some stupid young girl with her thumb up her ass?"
Zach: "Uh, no. She was some old lady."
Me: "Huh?"
Zach: "Yeah. She was older. Like, over 65, probably."
Me, yelling: "WHAT?!?!"
Zach: "Yeah. What's wrong with that?"
Me: "You didn't tell me she was old!!"
Zach: "So?"
Me: "You yelled at a senior citizen?!"
Zach: "Hey! It's not a crime - "
Me: "THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"
Zach: "And you said I was good for me to stand up for my convictions!"
Me: "Well, that's before I found out you yelled at a grandmother!!"
pause
Zach: "So, you're saying here that, in the same situation, you wouldn't have stood up for your convictions?"
Me: "My convictions say that you DON'T YELL AT OLD PEOPLE!!!!!"
pause
Me: "Did you really argue with a senior citizen?"
Zach: "Yeah. I wanted to read!!!"
Me: "I can't believe you yelled at a grandmother."
Zach: "We don't know if she's a grandmoth - "
Me: "THAT'S NOT THE POINT."
Zach: "Then what is the point?!"
Me: "You don't argue with senior citizens!"
Zach: "That's you're conviction?"
Me: "Yes."
Zach: "And you're sticking with it?"
Me: "YES."
pause
Zach: "So, does this mean that, when I'm old, you won't yell at me?"
Me: "Oh, I wouldn't be the farm on that one, buddy."
I later added that, every half-decade or so, I put my Convictions up to a lengthy review process, and discard the outdated ones. Here are some that I've tossed over the years:
1. People who smoke cigarettes look cool. [thrown out at age 22]
2. I'm going to have twelve children. [thrown out at age 5]
3. Anal sex is icky. [thrown out during a special session in my late teens]
4. I'm going to watch Duck Tales every afternoon for the rest of my life. [thrown out, tearfully, at age 11]
5. Light brown M&Ms taste the best. [thrown out whenever they threw out light brown M&Ms]
6. If I ever had to be drafted into the military, I think I'd be okay. [thrown out whenI threw out #3]