Back in high school, before I came out (forced out?), I lusted after a friend of mine, and had to repeatedly resist the urge to tackle him and make him mine. Let's refer to him as K... for the simple reason that his first name begins with... well... K.
One day, during a discussion of politics among a group of us hormone-ridden freaks, K gleefully announced that he's now formulated the perfect presidential campaign slogan, one that would certainly catapult him into the White House, with a firm mandate to carry out his slogan's very policy:
"Demand Instant Gratification"
The crowd cheered at K's choice of slogan. I was more distracted by the fact that K announced it in such a gleeful fashion, hoping it could indeed be taken as a sign that he preferred to share his bed with another XY. [You must recall, of course, that I was a sophomore in high school at the time, and basically thought about two things: cookies and sexual activity.]
I laughed along with the others, of course, but, in reality, I found his slogan entirely immature and shallow. I wanted to lecture him - that joking about the selfish, petty, and superficial desires that were consuming our society to the core were, at best, counterproductive and, at worst, helping to accelerate our plunge down the abyss. But, instead, as I desired him, I bottled my idealistic objections, smiled, and resigned myself to defeat in this Morally Defining Moment - I'll apparently gladly throw political and philosophical idealism aside for the mere hint of fulfillment of a teenage fantasy.
But now, years later, as an adult (or pretend adult), nearing the one-quarter century mark in this rapidly evolving human society, I have to give K credit: He was right - such a slogan would land him in the Oval Office. It preaches the core tenet of modern advertising and materialism:
watch this! fast car gets me many women to impregnate VROOM VROOM
kids hate moms who don't buy them this cool sugar treat
smile when you drink sparkly beverage, or else you're not patriotic
war on terrorism means buy RV now!!!
you're ugly buy this skin product now before boyfriend dumps you
kids tell daddy that you don't love him until he buys cheap plastic device happy fun secret inside
Sadly, K was right.
don't stand up for your ideals in front of K 'cause you want to make lust with him many hours kissy kissy
Now, if you'll excuse me, my idealistic side needs some instant gratification, and is going to flog my pragmatic side a few dozen times.
Posted by James at August 11, 2005 09:37 PM