Friend: "So, what did you do last night?"
Me: "Nothing exciting. Mostly graded assignments."
Friend: "Ah."
Me: "Though, now that I think about it, I did finally master the poltergeist within my stove, and was able to make one bitchin' tomato-and-grilled-cheese sandwich!"
Friend: "Grilled cheese?"
Me: "Yeah. I go for small victories these days."
Friend: "Well, good for you for mastering that awful stove of yours. You've complained about it enough."
Me: "Yeah. I celebrated with a fine Merlot."
pause
Friend: "Merlot and grilled cheese?"
Me: "Yeah, why?"
Friend: "Oh... nothing. So, what made it a 'fine' Merlot?"
Me: "Oh, the label was pretty."
Friend: "Pretty?"
Me: "Yeah, why?"
pause
Friend: "Well, at least you're moving beyond white wine."
Me: "Huh?... Oh! My mistake. It was a fine Chardonnay."
Friend: "Chardonnay?"
Me: "Yeah, sorry. Sometimes I get those words confused."
Friend: "Words like 'Merlot' and 'Chardonnay' confuse you?"
Me: "Sometimes."
Friend: "Well, at least the labels were pretty, right?"
Me: "Bet your ass."