friend: "James, did you get a haricut? Something's different about you..."
me: "No, I just shaved off my sideburns."
friend: "Why?"
me: "I had an accident."
friend: "Like, 'peed-your-pants' accident?"
me: "Sorta. Except with hair clippers, not peeing my pants."
friend: "Huh?"
me: "I tried to clean up my sideburns, but forgot to put the guard on the clippers."
friend: "Oh... so you..."
me: "Yeah, I took a big chunk out of one sideburn, so I had to shave them off."
friend: "Oops. Well, could be worse!"
me: "How?"
friend: "You could've peed your pants, too."