When Zach and I first got our cat, I was thrilled. She was adorable, docile, and curious - and she seemed to at least tolerate our well-meant-but-entirely-unwanted affections. Growing up, due to my mother's extensive allergies (in my family, we never do anything small), I'd never before had a pet. For my boyfriend and I, the choice of a cat instead of a dog had been painfully obvious. Thanks to my small income as a graduate (perpetual) student, I could not afford to contribute enough to buy a house or condo in Seattle, so we were (and are) stuck with rentals. And moving a feline from rental property to rental property is much easier than a canine.
In those early gay and carefree days of cat ownership, we had to choose a name, as the name she came with (Lolita) for me elicited images of pedophilia and prostitution. Here's where my logic broke down. Hell, it didn't fail me; it just cashed out and moved on. I somehow found it more dignified to insist on naming our precious cat after a Bond Girl. Despite my cat's turbulent past (before she got two dads), I'm sure it's at the point where she was named for Kissy Suzuki from You Only Live Twice that she decided to contract feline ashtma and have difficulty finding her litterbox when it's time to take a long, satisfying piss.
Suzuki (or even the shortened "Suzie") quickly became - at best - a difficult and nonfunctional name. True, in the eyes of our veterinarian, she will always be "Suzuki," but in our hearts and minds, she's always been "Kitty." And at least once a month, my boyfriend (my poor, poor boyfriend... who grew up with dogs, wanted a dog, and fell under my spell long enough to let me not only get a cat, but name that poor, tortured cat for a Bond Girl), begged us to formalize this title, and ring the Seattle Animal Shelter to change her name to reflect the name we most often bestow upon her. I've resisted, mostly from embarrassment. After all, the Bond Girl homage was my decision, and I already get enough grief at our veterinarian's office ("You mean you don't brush your cat's teeth AT ALL?!") to keep me from telling them that Suzuki (sometimes Suzie, formerly Lolita and God knows what else) has had yet another change of heart.
But, after reading this, I've had a change of hear regarding my cat's change of name. When my boyfriend returns tomorrow from Olympia, I'm going to tell him that, in honor of Ms. Gibbons, we're changing our cat's name to Muhammed. And let the rest be damned.
Posted by James at November 29, 2007 08:19 PM