ISleepInADrawer.com

My Future

I've been working on a preliminary list of schools to apply to for graduate school. I need to trim it down a bit, but here are some possibilities:
1. University of Washington, Seattle
2. Northwestern University, Evanston/Chicago
3. University of Iowa, Iowa City
4. University of Wisconsin, Madison
5. University of California, San Francisco
6. Cornell University, Ithaca/New York
7. Harvard University, Cambridge
8. University of Oregon, Eugene
9. University of Chicago, Chicago
10. Iowa State University, Ames
11. Washington University, Saint Louis

Schools I already had to cross off included UC-Berkeley, UC-San Diego, University of Alberta-Edmonton, University of Minnesota-Minneapolis, and the University of Illinois-Urbana/Champaign. As for what's left, I see I'm leaning back to where I came from - the midwest. Not entirely a defeat... just perhaps a tactical reshuffling. *scratches head*

I'm wondering if I have too many schools listed that are "over my head." I'm obviously reaching in some choices (Harvard, UCSF, Chicago, Northwestern)... others may be more reasonable (Iowa State). But, then again, I am flying blind here. I've no idea what I'm doing, or what I'm setting myself up for. A world of hurt? Perhaps. But hey, maybe it'll be a good kind of hurt.

In the meantime, maybe I should focus instead on finding letters of recommendation. Crap.

Items of Interest

Today marked my mother's last full day in Seattle. Z decided to spend the afternoon and evening with us. Three things to note:

1. He ran into a wall while we were walking to Pike Place Market downtown.

2. This evening, he wore two different shoes to my house when he came over to bid my mother farewell.

3. I was the first person to notice. I only noticed because, while everyone else was absorbed in deep conversation about politics and the upcoming primary election, I thought it would be a good idea to tie his shoelaces together.

Smooth Criminal

My mom has been in town since Tuesday, so please pardon my lack-of-attention for the next few days. Like me, she enjoys her vacations.

Also, like me, it's rather tough initially to befriend her. But, again like me, there are shortcuts one can take in this usually lengthy process; and, last night, my boyfriend scored some points in that department: he made us dinner.

I'm pretty sure she wants us to get married now.

I would say I'm surprised, but Z's already done this to my father.

I, however, have not had as much luck with Z's own family. I recall a ludicrous attack of the hiccups when I first met his step-mother. And baked salmon was not served.

Faces

I, obviously, was not pleased with that ride on the slide.

One-Twelfth of the Year

Via Mr. Hooker and others. Stage one consists of finding your birth month and cutting and pasting the text. In stage two, one simply strikes through the portions of text that do not apply to the individual. For stage three, Kahn sets the Genesis device on self-destruct, and Mr. Spock sacrifices himself to save the Enterprise.

***
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who love him. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
***

I'll be damned if I know what "Loves to take things at the center" means. But I decided to keep it uncrossed, just to be sure. I also had to look up "spendthrift" (idiot). Please, refrain from prancing around announcing that James hates children. I don't hate them. It's just that I relate better to a microscope.

Ordinarily, I would be somewhat concerned by the rather large frequency of October items I crossed out. But, I'm not for two reasons:
1. I was born 25-30 days overdue (and surprisingly, my mother still kept me). So, in my heart-of-hearts, I'm a September baby. A Virgo in Libra's clothing.
2. I really don't believe in any of this sh*t to begin with. I was born when I was born... and there's really little significance to it, save for the fact that my mother's oxytocin levels rose sufficiently one evening in early October, 1980. Barely two hours later, a bunch of people in an infant trauma ward in an Arkansas hospital saw me naked, and I was named after my grandfathers. That is all.

The Circle

Not again. You would think, after the first incident, that they would keep such a "national treasure" under better security. Or any security, for that matter. Oh well. Live and learn.

I remember the first time it was stolen. I was on a trip to Washington, D.C. (my last, it turns out). When we went to the National Gallery, I told my mom about Edvard Munch's stolen painting. She didn't know which one I was talking about. So, I took her to the gift shop, thinking that they must have a postcard of it somewhere in their "world famous" section. So, I told her to stand there and wait until I found one... which is actually a pretty annoying thing for me to do. But, I was fourteen, oblivious, emotionally-unbalanced, gay-but-was-the-only-one-who-didn't-know-it, acne-ridden, and I'm not even going to mention how I dressed. I thought I was smart, and that would compensate more than enough for the fact that I was entirely despised in my junior high. But then again, at least I hated junior high as much as it hated me.

Anyway, so that was a pretty annoying thing to do to my mother. Eventually, as I flipped through cards, she apparently found something else to catch her attention. She wandered off without my noticing. Finally, I stumbled upon a postcard of The Scream, held it up in triumph, and turned to my left saying, "Mom, here it is"... to a woman who was not my mother.

In fact, she was shorter, larger, and wearing a t-shirt that said "Jesus: Light of my World." She smiled and nodded, originally, noticing my mistake. But then, seeing the postcard in my hand, she yelped, "Horrors of Satan!" She backed off a few steps.

As for me, dumbstruck, I eventually snapped out of it, turned to run, and fell onto the postcard display. Sometimes, though, I wonder whether the "Horrors of Satan" comment was directed towards me. I was, after all, in junior high.

Never Wear Flip-Flops to the G.R.E.

Well, it's done. The General Test, at least. How was my score? Would you like to know. I'm satisfied, for the moment, with it... for the moment. Perhaps tomorrow I'll register to take it again. Perhaps not.

The test itself was... okay. Not entirely unexpected material. The high points:

1. I went to pee five minutes before I began the test. Fifteen minutes into it, I had to pee again. You can bet the next hour of writing samples was... stressful.

2. My fellow test-takers did not appreciate the "flip-flap" joy of my flip-flops as I went to and from my breaks.

3. I nearly tripped over a coffee table when I saw the cute twentysomething speciment of testosterone, goatee, and tightfitting Abercrombie and Fitch attire come in to fill out his pre-test paperwork at the same time as me.

4. Getting up at 5:45AM on a Saturday... yeah... just to drive to B.F.E. (Butt-F***ing Egypt) Mountlake Terrace. [Note: Please observe that, for today, James' definition of B.F.E. is limited only to a twenty minute drive north on I-5 to Mountlake Terrace. The thirty-five minute drive south on I-5 he gleefully made this afternoon to go to IKEA in Renton is not, paradoxically, B.F.E.]

So yes, with Z in Chicago on business, I had little to do afterwards. IKEA seemed in order. And yes, this is a blatantly obvious sign that I need more friends. D'oh.

The End of the World

This world no longer deserves to exist. The human race has lost its dignity.

Why, you ask?

I just read the most ridiculous headline on a "reputable" American news service's website:

"Mystery solved, Paris Hilton's dog found"

It was one of their top eight stories. Not Darfur, not the Likud crisis, not even the freaking President. Not even Paris Hilton. Nope, her dog got headlines over the Sudan, Israel, El Salvador, Venezuela, and the Congo.

And in regards to Jim McGreevey, the recently-outed New Jersey Governor, I believe, as usual, that the Onion summed up the real crisis quite nicely with this sideline:

Homosexual Tearfully Admits To Being Governor Of New Jersey

The Bearded Lady

Today, at work, as usual, I had to use the bathroom. Nothing new. As in many places, the restrooms for women and men are right next to one another. Passing the women's restroom, a woman walked out who works in the rather antisocial lab next to mine. Recognizing her, I nodded and smiled. In return, she nodded and smiled...

and held the bathroom door open for me.

Um, am I missing something here? Was she just slow? Confused? Did she think she was witty? Cute? No way, obviously. My paranoid side wants to cry "Foul!" with accusations of gay bashing, and knock her not-so-gently into the middle of next week.

But still... Do I look like a woman to you?

Personally, I think I'd make a rather poor bearded lady... due mostly to the lack-of-ability-to-grow-significant-facial-hair. *sigh*

Camelot

Well, here's something you don't hear everyday:

"James, you look like Jackie Onassis!"

From your boyfriend, no less.

Call My Name

If you need me tonight, perhaps you should look here.

Yes, Z and I are going to see Lohengrin tonight. My first Wagner opera.

But what's going on with all these stories in which a character is either nameless or has a name that cannot/should not be said aloud? The Childlike Empress, Lord Voldemort, Rumplestiltskin, and now Lohengrin. Go figure.

Say my name as much as your heart desires. I could care less.

Davey Jones' Locker

I don't think animal rights groups would be too pleased with me today. I willingly drowned a rather large spider and a centipede this morning in my tub.

Oh, I also came down with a severe attack of the giggles when a bird flew [SMACK] into my window today at work.

According to my Kaplan CD I've been pseudo-using to study for the GRE, I should've been spending June and July researching graduate programs I'd like to apply to. August, apparently, should be spent picking those schools and beginning the application process. As some of you might know, I've done little of this. I mean, I've chosen one or two schools I'd like to investigate... and one program in particular that looks nice, though quite difficult to get into. But otherwise, I'm clueless. I just figured I'd pick easy schools, since I've been told I need all the help I can get. Well sh*t.

A graduate student in my lab is also trying to get me to apply for a research grant from the National Science Foundation. What the hell am I getting myself into here?!

I don't know about you, but I'm suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Sticks and Stones

The GRE arrives in eleven days... and I've forgotten what "garrulous" means! Obviously, I've my work cut out for me.

So, instead of my usual banter, you get random photographs!

This order in chaos represents my love for you. Or ham. I forget which.

Recoiling at the horror of his pale arms, the native flora suddenly wished for knives and other sharp defensive weaponry.

An appropriate caption would best be lifted from the musical Into the Woods: "Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor."

Yeah, kids. I'm kidding. Z rocks.

The Saga Continues

"I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton's willingness to go into a state she doesn't even live in and pretend to represent people there, so I certainly wouldn't imitate it."
--Alan Keyes, former Ambassador to the U.N. Economic and Social Council and the U.N. General Assembly, on former First Lady (and Democrat) Hillary Clinton's decision to run for the New York Senate in 2000, though she'd spent most of her life as an Arkansas resident. Clinton is now one of fourteen women in the Federal Senate.

Formber Ambassador Keyes (of Maryland) is now a Republican candidate for the Illinois Senate. He will face Democrat and State Senator Barack Obama in November.

This is, you'll recall, after the original Republican candidate, Jack Ryan, bowed out of the race after his divorce papers (he was married to Seven of Nine) had some embarrassing allegations, etc. etc. etc.

[Pause.]

Can things get any more weird in this Senate race?! Seriously. I wouldn't be surprised if sex change operations come next. Borg nanoprobes are good for something, after all.

Geniuses at Work

The Onion has done it again:

"CIA Asks Bush To Discontinue Blog"

Direct

Today in lab:
Rachel: "Well, I tend to think I can understand people pretty well. After all, I can understand James most of the time!"

Poor Rachel - she puts up with so much of my psychobabble.

James: "Rachel, where's the flat thing?"
Rachel: "You mean the Whatman paper?"
James: "No, the other flat thing, with the yellow pretties and stickers... and... words."
Rachel: "Oh, you must mean the film cassettes."
James: "Yeah, those too."
Rachel: "They're on your bench."

She does have a point, though.

I suppose talking to me in person can sometimes be rather indirect. Much like the man who drove from Seattle to Portland via Denver, Cleveland, Jupiter, Madras, and the Holy See.

And, I suppose talking to me in person can sometimes be rather like a premature ejaculation - a bit awkward, with "wet" feelings down there.

Here's hoping I improve my oral communication skills before I have to give a seminar talk. I don't want all the men present looking uncomfortable and crossing their legs.

Debacle

There he is... eating corn... in my old stomping grounds. Yes, the President and Senator Kerry were both in Davenport, Iowa today... one of the four Quad Cities that raised and reared me through those turbulent years between third grade and my senior year of college. Best part: the Davenport police and the Iowa State Patrol were stretched so thin with Bush and Kerry in town on the same day that three Davenport banks were robbed... Typical, Quad Cities, typical. With an environment like that to grow up in, is it any wonder why I managed to walk into a glass door today?

And now for two separate commentaries on portions making up 1/50th of this country...

1. Screw you, Missouri: Screw you AND your state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. I'm glad now more than ever that I decided not to pursue that job at Sigma-Aldrich past the first interview. I mean, Saint Louis is a fine city and all... but it's in Missouri... and Missouri hates fags.

2. But my own State of Washington may not: Maybe... The Evergreen State is full of gay-friendly areas (Seattle first among many, of course)... and The Economist, to paraphrase, labelled Washington the state the least likely to fall to evangelical pressures from the religious right. (Hell, there's a reason businesses are open Sunday... no one's at church.) Sure, we have a state Defense of Marriage Act on file defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman... Oh wait... Or do we? Yes, a King County judge has struck down Washington's DOMA, and now the decision moves up the State Supreme Court. If the state high court upholds the decision, I see two possibilities: gay marriage or a state constitutional amendment.

I hear Washingtonians love to amend the state constitution... but only when it comes to budgetary and logistical matters. Here's hoping they keep that document out of my bed. It's only a full size, and Z steals the covers. We can't accomodate a third entity at this time.

But, as a whole, goooo Washington! I've chosen a quality home.

The End of the Road

Begin Rant

I'll keep this tirade over Israeli politics brief. Go read The Onion if you aren't interested.

Well, we have rougly 245,000 Israeli settlers in the occupied territores (7,000 or so in Gaza, and the rest in the West Bank). We have a most imperfect plan supported by the Big Four (the U.S., the U.N., the Russian Federation, and the E.U.) known as "the Roadmap" (but maps are not President Bush's best subject). It's not great; but then again, it isn't horrible, either. It thankfully addresses the most pressing wedge in the Middle East... by establishing the Palestinian State in the West Bank and Gaza... blah blah blah.

But first, the P.A. must reign in militant groups... which is proving difficult... but can be done (somehow).

And the Isreali State must freeze construction of all settlements in the Occupied Territories.

Well, sh*t. Yes, folks... It looks like Maale Adumim is going to grow by some 2,000 people. Responses are sketchy, so far... though the Israeli Housing Ministry is thrilled - since the national housing industry is largely floundering at the moment.

Yeah, I'm a bleeding-heart liberal guy who thinks Palestine should exist entirely within the West Bank and Gaza with East Jerusalem and Ramallah as seats of government. Yeah, I think all Israeli settlements in the West Bank and Gaza should either be evacuated to Israel or incorporated into Palestine. Yes, I think the Golan Heights are sovereign Syrian territory and should be returned A.S.A.P. Yes, I sleep easier with Labour governments in power.

Can I borrow some prime real estate?

Though Likud often gives me a weird Oompa-Loompa vibe, I was giving P.M. Sharon props for pressing evacuation of Gaza, and for holding coalition talks with Peres and Labour. But Ariel, naughty boy. No settlements. Maale Admumim is big enough. As far as I'm concerned, an extra 600 homes will mean just more to be taken apart and moved back into Israel before true peace and security are realized.

There. I said it. Now, please try not to hate me for it. Rarely to I indulge in my passion for Israeli politics on the internet... so forgive this brief interruption from my usual jump from self-induced crisis to self-induced crisis.

End Rant

"James, shut up about Israel, sweetie. We're trapped in this big glowing box with no la Croix, no bollie, and no bloody fags!"