ISleepInADrawer.com

Bonding with Orange Round Objects

Last night, at a co-worker's "annual pumpkin carving party", I carved a pumpkin for the first time. Z, the artist, had to draw something on the pumpkin for me to carve, of course - but it still counts, doesn't it? Well, in case it doesn't, I carved my own lopsided pumpkin this evening. I'm too ashamed to take pictures, but the experience has left me humbled and peaceful - it's a pathetic example of my lack-of-artistic-skills, but I still somehow take some pride in it. I want to beat my (girly) fists on my weak chest and yell (in a dainty manner), "I am man! Look at what I have done with my large hominid brain!"

The experience has also left me eager to confess a few tidbits about myself again. This time, I'll jot down eleven things:
1. About half the time I'm trying to fall asleep, I have to rub my feet together to get completely relaxed.
2. But, I've been told that if I fall asleep on my back, I snore.
3. I like my hair short... really short.
4. From sheer laziness, I usually only shave once or twice a week. The rest of the time, I look like a bum.
5. I love reading by candlelight.
6. I get really annoyed when people say I shouldn't read the Economist because it's a "conservative" magazine.
7. My first kiss was in a parking garage in Rock Island, Illinois.
8. I love the notion of "alternate history" fiction, but often don't enjoy many of that genre's selections once I read them.
9. I've a huge blood phobia... If I don't pass out at the sight of it, I at least get lightheaded and have to repress the urge to vomit.
10. I claim to be a cat person, even though I've never had any pets.
11. My first and last stint in acting came in the sixth grade, when I played the King of Hearts. To this day, I'm still ashamed.

A Matter of Perspective

It has recently come to my attention that I have around fourteen vacation days lolling around for me to use. I think I should use some of them pretty soon... because, today's highlights included:

1. being able to say the phrase "cortical patterns" at least four times during lab meeting
2. reading about our newly-discovered pygmy relations
3. running into a door
4. mint floss

I need to remove myself briefly from my current setting and Get Back In Touch With Society (not the naughty touch... a good touch).

North to the Future

I have just realized why I was in a poor mood yesterday evening:

Yesterday was the first day of autumn/winter (honestly... we seem to have skipped autumn this year) when the sun had already completely set by the time I left work.

Granted, I worked a long day yesterday (6:45PM... long by my standards). But, it's sobering to walk out into a pitch-black night for the first time in eight months. Waiting for the bus, I spent a good ten minutes craning my neck, attempting to determine whether or not the sun had merely ducked behind some western obstruction (you know... clouds... or the Olympic Mountains), before I realized, "The sun has long-since set, genius."

Yes, genius. On the map, Seattle is "a little bit north" of Illinois (and, granted "a lot bit" west). But, I'll just take this as yet another reminder that "a little bit north" has grave implications when it comes to daylight hours.

Nerd Alert

Since more-than-a-few folks asked, for his birthday, I got Z tickets to the Seattle Opera's opening night performance of Verdi's Rigoletto. I figured it was more-than-coincidence that opening night fell on his birthday... and sold my soul to get us droolably-good seats. Actually, not really. Our seats did indeed rock, but I only got them because, as I rang the ticket office, I guess a subscription rich couple had just walked out of the ticket office after switching their performance from opening night to another. As Fate would have it, I was the first person to call and ask for "kick ass" tickets for my boyfriend's birthday.

I also got him a Hutch hoodie. Yeah, we both have an unnatural obsession with hoodies. For me, the debate wasn't whether or not to get him a hoodie, but what KIND.

Anyway, for me, the beauty wasn't in what I got him, but how I presented it to him. I'd also bought a score of candy and other naughty food items, and proceeded to hide the gifts around my house and car, with notes attached. Basically, I turned it into the scavenger hunt from hell. It started out with a note in my mailbox with instructions to go to my car... and from there it unfolded into twenty minutes of suspense for Z as he went from one hidden location to the next. I believe, for him, the biggest point of frustration came when he found my mobile hidden at one locale, and he had to navigate his way through my phone's overly-complicated touchpad to check my voicemail and receive his next clue. Anyway, the hunt-from-hell ended with the opera tickets hidden in one of my coat pockets. During the whole hunt, I was taking the Longest Shower of my Life (extra incentive to make him think harder regarding some of the more difficult clues... since he knew I'd be unavailable to help). As I walked from the bathroom back to my room, I started thinking, "What if he doesn't like the tickets?... What the hell am I going to do?... We haven't actually discussed Rigoletto in months..."

But when I walked in my room, he tackled me. He loved it - I thought he might pee his pants with glee. Plus, the opera was awesome.

The Time Warp

My sister, for entirely understandable reasons, was a bit late in shipping my birthday present to me. But, it arrived last night... and, much to my utter delight, I found this year's present theme to be a complete Time Warp. As children Raised by TV and Books, she decided a Trip Down Memory Lane (TV-style) would be in order. Encased in Care Bears wrapping paper were five movies we shamelessly Watched to Death during our childhood, including this and this. The other selections are too shameful to admit to at this point in time...

But my enthusiasm gave way to horror... aside from The Goonies, Z looked at the bounty of memories and wasted-years-in-front-of-a-glowing box and said, "I've never heard of any of these." After I recovered from the shock, I proposed an all-night film festival introducing him to Favorites from my Youth. Instead, he fell asleep as I gleefully watched Return to Oz.

Dream a Little Dream

Here's something I didn't expect: an openly gay novelist just won my favorite literary award for an openly gay novel.

Interesting...

I do get all giddy inside when merely whispers the words "Man Booker Prize." I mean... two Absolute Favorites of mine were well-deserved recipients. Hell, I even had a dream once where I got it! Granted, I got it for egg juggling. But hey, it's one of my milder dreams.

Confession Time

I've been told a daily confession of 5 to 10 Dark Pages of my life will make me, in the long run, a more balanced soul. And since that may make my meager life squeak on for a few more years (less stress on the heart and all), I'll give it a shot.

1. I love bagpipes. But not within two meters
2. I also smile when I smell toluene.
3. I hit my sister once. And cried afterwards.
4. Ideally, I sleep with a metric ton of covers on me. It's for the pressure, not the warmth. The pressure above me relaxes me, believe it or not. And yes, it's driven Z and any other guy I've dated absolutely insane.
5. I rarely cry; but, I tremble my bottom lip on command.
6. I love pepperoni.
7. I had a dream the other day in which Z and I moved to Ireland. Now, I can't get the idea out of my head.
8. I like looking at family trees of languages. And maps.
9. The other day, in the art museum, I accidentally shouted, "He's a retarded king!" in reference to a certain Bourbon monarch of Spain.
10. I like smelling clean clothes.

Critical Care

Well, I'm still sniffling... but so, apparently, is my computer. I've done all I can for it, and now I've had to take it to the Experts to diagnose correct some "troubling" symptoms. Thus, my computer access is limited to
1. work
2. what time I can steal from Z's machine (which, this weekend, amounted to ten minutes)
I was shocked to find how dependent I am on that computer. And now I use it as a substitute for TV. For the past 3 mornings, I instincitvely went to my desk, and attempted to turn on a computer-that-wasn't-there to check both the headlines and the weather. Whoops. And the internet was not there to answer the following questions that came up this weekend:

1. What was the name of the "all natural" market where I got that f*cking great honey?
2. When was the Brazilian capital moved from Rio to Brasilia?
3. What's the name of the new Claire Daines movie "everyone" says I should see?
4. Did Anne Boleyn really have six fingers?
5. How many electoral college votes do Colorado, Arkansas, Virginia, and Minnesota have?
6. How long has Kay Bailey Hutchison been a Senator?
7. Do state senators in Washington serve 2, 4, or 6 year terms?
8. What does Inez Tenenbaum look like?
9. When did the Canadian Alliance and the Progressive Conservative Party merge to form the Conservative Party of Canada?
10. What would you do for a Klondike bar?
11. What, specifically, is the difference between pubic lice and head lice?
12. What is going on with the Iowa state quarter? Sheesh.
13. What are the three small flags in the center of South Africa's apartheid-era flag?
14. Are the Care Bears ever coming out on DVD?
15. Who is the current U.S. Poet Laureate?
16. Which states have two Democratic Senators, two Republican Senators, and which states are split?

And, finally...

17. How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

Those computer guys had better hurry up. I'm getting antsy!

Immunobiology

I've spent the better part of the last few days trying to decide whether or not I'm ill... or if my immune system has suddenly settled so well to Seattle Weather that it's finding all sorts of benign particles to initiate a hypersensitive response to.  I've been flip-flopping (Oh-no!  James has now incorporated yet another political catch phrase into his daily life!) on the issue daily now... no doubt in part helped by my studies for the GRE Biology Subject test (I hit the topic of immunology on Sunday):

MONDAY: Scratchy throat = Allergies (work as usual)
TUESDAY: Scratchy throat developing into sore throat and coughing = Allergies developing into Nonspecific infection (and thus left
work early)
WEDNESDAY: More of the same = Illness (called in sick for the second time ever)
THURSDAY: Scratchy throat = Allergies (workworkwork)

Today is turning out to be more like Tuesday... decent in the morning, but not-so come afternoon.  I caught myself swaying groggily earlier at a computer... but that may have just been because I was analyzing less-than-thrilling sequencing data.

I love working in the lab I work in because, at any given time, I have two MDs at my disposal.  One, a former oncologist and surgeon from Japan, cuts gels with the precision of... well... a cancer surgeon.  The other was once a pediatrician in China.  So, her medicinal advice, when sought, can be summed up in two blanket responses:
1. "It's SARS."
2. (Insert western Chinese remedy.)
While #1 has not served me well, through #2 I discovered the genuine/placebo effect of pomegranate juice (though I must dilute it half in diet Sprite).  And now, thanks mostly to this mystery illness/allergic reaction, I've been driven to the miracle of warm honey-water.  Not only did this send me to an all-natural grocery store (of which Seattle apparently has plenty), but I also discovered that filtered (but otherwise untreated) "organic" honey tastes pretty f*cking good... In fact, much better than that supermarket brand honeybear stuff.

I wouldn't be fighting this irregular immune response so much if my health for tomorrow weren't of paramount importance.  Z is turning 2_, and my apparent ability to keep him utterly entertained with
1. My charming personality
2. Presents
will keep him from getting too down-in-the-dumps on his birthday.  Those of you who know me well, then, will realize that #2 is of the upmost importance, since #1 has been lacking somewhat since kindergarten. Thus, I've gotten him a _____ ___________, a _________, an _________, and a few others. Plus, he doesn't know it, but tomorrow we're _______ ________ __ ______ ___ _________! Obviously, I need to be in tip-top shape for that. And he'll never in his wildest dreams guess that ______ ___ ______ ____________... a two-person-job present!

But at this point, as the former Chinese pediatrician pointed out to me today (between my sneezes and coughs), I should just be glad that I haven't given him SARS.

Bless my Presidential Candidate

My call on the debate: yawn

Oh, did you think I was going to pick a winner? Silly folks. The highlight? Let me quote the Poje:
"DUELING blessings! Americans are praying for Bush; Native Americans are blessing Kerry. Who Would Jesus Vote For?"
Amen, brother. Amen.

Honestly... a draw... or Bush won by a Smidgen*... Only by the fact that, when both have plenty to say, Bush's "aw-shucks" Southern style would, in my opinion, fare better with the Average American than Kerry's play-by-play powerpoint presentation. But then again, I'm far from the Average American... so what the hell do I know? Both boys ended up appealing to their bases... again! As if anyone other than party loyalists would have much to say on the matter, anyway.

At this point, my pessimistic political drive doesn't know what to think. It's nice to know, though, that Bush "doesn't know what to think" about my sexuality, and Kerry knows exactly what to think of Mary Cheney. Let me fill something in for both of you: I definitely did not pick my sexual orientation... but damn do I love what I've ended up with! XY is indeed a divine chromosomal combo.

*Smidgen = 17pm**
**pm = picometers

P.S.: In the meantime, far-fetched rumors are cirulating about the Gubernator. Constitutional Amendment, anyone?

Twenty-Four

My, my... How time flies.

"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."
-- from Holidays on Ice, David Sedaris

Map Quest

When the VP debate last night was getting especially gruelling, I averted my eyes and wandered over to the computer... still listening, mind you, but I also distracted myself from the slaughter (see below) by playing with the interactive electoral college map courtesy of the LA Times.

Aside from appealing to my obsessive love of maps and geography, it summarizes data from polls, giving electoral votes to Bush or Kerry only if the candidate's "lead" is significant (outside of the margin of error). Otherwise, the state is in neutral white. But, the best part, to me, and something I couldn't do with other electoral college trackers, is Playing God... Changing a state's loyalty until Bush or Kerry gets to the magic point of 270 electoral college votes. I put together what I saw as the "most likely scenario" for November 2nd (to make a long story short, the pessimist in me fears Bush will win 316 to Kerry's meager 222). But, I put together several less-pessimistic alternatives... including a win for Kerry with exactly 270 electoral college votes (but hey, it's still a win!), and a particularly frightening (though I believe it possible) TIE in the electoral college. For those of you unfamiliar with the Federal Constitution and our oh-so-undemoratic way of electing the President and Vice President, a 269-269 split in the electoral college is resolved in the House of Representatives for the Prez, and the Senate for the VP. Which means [You guessed it!] Bush wins. I came upon the "tie" scenario by changing only a handful of "swing states" from my originally pessimistic prediction. Believe me, I'm hoping for the Kerry-Bush 270-268 split... it'll be narrow, but it's still possible. But in the meantime, I just love Playing God - looking at the different scenarios... I'm really just a nerd deep down in my core.

Plus, color-coding the states in the red-and-blue fashion made it handy today to explain the American Civil War today to a co-worker from Japan. I just eventually had to turn off the "Hail to the Chief" chime that jingles in each time one candidate or the other reaches 270.

[Update]: They also have an interactive Senate race map!

Smart Things

I just found out my employer, the Hutch, this year has (yet another) Nobel laureate. This makes three.

You'd think I'd be intimidated by such brain power. But, I ain't.

The Great Pretender

One G.R.E. is done... And, over the past few weeks, I've been studying (perhaps not as much as I should) for the Biology G.R.E. I've spent most of last night and today pouring over the "basics" of molecular and cellular biology... a field that I supposedly did "extensive" research in as an undergraduate, and have spent the past year-and-a-half (give or take) working in...

But, you know what? I've forgotten a whole hell-of-a-lot.

Such a realization alone would be demoralizing for the very assertion that I do indeed have little knowledge of the very field I
A. Have been working in for some time now, and
B. Wish to continue working in for the forseeable future.
But, such news is also a bit of a let-down since molecular and cellular biology is only about 1/3 of the test material. The rest is... well... other stuff. Should be interesting!

But, today in particular, I was going over some "basics" of cellular metabolism. And I stumbled on some embarrassing terms. Embarrassing because... essentially... they're "big words." Words that can easily be tossed around by biologists in conversations with non-biologists that can make the biologist appear to be the most intelligent human being since Einstein. Some of my favorite of the Big Words include those of the "phospho" cagetory. Perhaps I just like the sound "phospho"... or maybe I'm attracted to these words because, more often than not, they contain odd vowel combinations that are, to me, rather enjoyable to say. Some examples:
phosphoenolpyruvate
[cyclic or non-cyclic] photophosphorylation
phosphorylinositol

I swear, toss these babies around in a conversation, and you'll sound like a freakin' genius, baby. At least, I think so. I consider it my way of preemptively attempting to appear intelligent... that is, I try to look smarter than I really am before the person with which I'm conversing can see through to my true, idiotic colors. Of course, if the person I'm conversing with is a biologist in any sense, they'll see right through my act. So, that eliminates several individuals, including (but not limited to) this man's boyfriend, most of my friends from college, and my boyfriend (his AP Biology class in high school apparently covered material I hadn't even heard of until my junior year of college).

But, aside from my odd scheme as a great pretender, I have been somewhat phased today to realize that... well... I don't seem to recall the specifics of any of those three terms listed above. Reading about them today made me realize
A. I've forgotten a great deal from college.
B. I have a good deal of work to do before I take the Biology G.R.E.
C. If I do get into graduate school, I'll have to remember all of this sh*t rather quickly... I mean, every graduate student I've ever seen remembers all of this and more. It's a phenomenon I initially found astounding... and now that I'm trying to join the club (so to speak), I find it highly unsettling.

But, that said, I've made some progress today. And I've some time to go before this exam. I'll just take it one photophosphorylation reaction at a time.

[See? Now didn't that sound smart?...]

A Moment of Clarity

Tonight, Z and I finally took the advice of one of my labmates and dined at "A New York Pizza Place" in Maple Leaf. The food, aside from being excellent in every way, also brought a moment of clarity and sheer brilliance to Z:

"Hey, you know what?! They should have a First Ladies debate!!!"

Not a bad idea. And the pizza was great, too.

The October Surprise

I spent most of yesterday convincing myself that I wasn't going to watch the debate. "Why bother?... Kerry's probably going to screw up (once again) anyhow... and Rove has probably been training Bush for this moment since he was in diapers..."

But we all knew I was really going to watch anyway.

I was in front of the TV at 6:00PM sharp, fists clenched, watching Jim Lehrer rattle off a list of overly-complicated rules, no-no's, and nonsense regulations. "Is this a debate or a F*CKING JOINT PRESS CONFERENCE?!" Z didn't know how to reply. Jim Lehrer apparently decided my criticisms were not worth replying to.

But, all-in-all, I was pleasantly surprised. The fomat... almost worked. Almost. Each time a question went to Kerry, I had a small-yet-significant heart attack thinking of all the horrific ways he could totally screw himself over by answering... and then breathing a small, insufficient sigh of relief when he'd (often) steer clear of the Trainwreck Answer I'd formulated in my head.

But, some day-after tips for you boys:
BUSH:
1. We all know you aren't the greatest public speaker. But hey, we've had Presidents who were worse... Unfortunately, you're the first one to come up during the Age of Media Coverage. And... well... it shows when Kerry is next to you... speaking quite eloquently, I might add. But hey, it's nothing personally to be ashamed of (if it makes you feel any better, I'm worse in front of a crowd... though I can say nuclear properly)... it just doesn't sound very... Presidential.
2. "I see on the T.V. screens how hard it is." I have a feeling you were trying to convey to the audience that, though you aren't in Sadr City with an M-16 in your hands, you do know that the "War on Terror" is a difficult conflict based on the reports, stats, etc. from your staff... but... hey... that was bad.
3. We all know you know who Osama bin Laden is. Don't scold.
4. You didn't seem very cool-headed.
5. Do you even know where Darfur is?
6. You've finally seemed to acknowledge that all-is-not-rosy-and-freedom in Iraq. But... your plan to counteract this would be?... Like Poje, I'd like some specifics.
7. Let's elaborate a bit more on how simultaneous bilateral and multilateral talks with North Korea would undermine the multilateral approach, shall we?
8. Like Sam, I say less rhetoric ["A free Iraq", "solemn duty", "hatred in their hearts"] - sadly, I think people fall for that sh*t.

KERRY:
1. As Poje thankfully pointed out... FOUR Vietnam references?! Say it ain't so. Subtract three and I'll shake your hand. Subtract four and I'll marry you.
2. Like Bush, do you even KNOW where Darfur is?!
3. Less repetition... I began to cringe when hearing, "90% of the cost! 90% of the casualties!"
4. Instead of ignoring the "Coalition of the Willing" entirely [and thus giving Bush his "What about Poland?" line], why not point out that it isn't really a coalition? Here's a point: most coalitions (traditional or not) involve an equal or near-equal division of responsibilities and resources. I'm sure that's what you meant by "90% of the cost! 90% of the casualties!" But, c'mon here, you set yourself up for that.
5. And while we're on internationalization here, you let Bush pigeonhole you into contradicting yourself on Iraq-North Korea policies... making it sound like you want to go mulitlaterally with Iraq, but unilaterally with North Korea. Oopsie. Next time, don't let him define it for you.
6. WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?! The Bush twins came up to kiss daddy... where were your offspring?!
7. I can only counter your repetition by being repetitive myself. Summits? Yes, you said that about five thousand times... Now, how about these summits? A potential agenda? Some potential attendees? I know you've a drafted plan out there somewhere!
8. Nice tie. I still think you're losing.

But only time will tell (one month, to be specific). My father raised me to be an odd mix of pessimist-realist when it comes to politics. I'm obviously not a Bush fan... but Kerry could do better. It was his race to lose... and I think he's been losing it for the past few months. All is not lost, though. Two more debates, and I happen to think he has a lot more ammunition to throw at Bush on his domestic agenda. I'll even give Kerry some of my favorite Bush screw-ups to toss around: deficit, tax cut, separation of church-and-state, faith-based initiatives, stem cell research, the FMA... shall I go on?

But, then again... all could be lost. It's October 1st... cynics everywhere are bracing for the October Surprise... bin Laden's capture. Do I think it'll happen? Well, eventually, I'd LIKE to see bin Laden on trial and behind bars... But I'm hoping this will be the only October Surprise we'll see.