I guess this means all those paleontology classes I took in college were such a waste.
Singing along with my iPod in lab:
Co-worker #1: "What is that you're singing?"
Me: "It's 'I Am the Walrus' - my favorite song."
Co-worker #1: "That's you're favorite song??"
Me: "Yeah... I mean, is that so hard to believe?"
Co-worker #1: "Well... it just seems... well, there are so many other songs out there!"
Me: "Hey, way back when I was in high school, it was cool to like the Beatles!"
Co-worker #1: "Oh, I don't doubt that. And I'm sure it's still cool these days, to an extent."
pause
Me: "Actually, I think any coolness factor I had in high school was immediately cancelled out due to the fact that I also loved classical music."
Co-worker #1: "Oh no, James! Really? You like classical music?"
Me: "Oh definitely. So does Zach."
Co-worker #1: "That's very... dweeby."
Me: "Well, so be it."
Co-worker #1: "Can you name three composers?"
Me: "Only three?"
Co-worker #1: "Oh, you can name more than three? Fine. Name four."
Me: "Bach, Brahms, Beethoven, Mozart."
Co-worker #1: "Okay, name a fifth."
Me: "Dvorak. Wanna see how many more I can name!?"
fifty composers later
Co-worker #2: "We should've warned you, [name of Co-worker #1]. James knows a lot about music... and geography... and world leaders..."
Co-worker #1: "Obviously. James, I had no idea you were such a... uh...
Me: "...Repository of useless knowledge?"
Co-worker #1: "Something like that. But, can you name all the members of the Wu Tang Clan?"
Me: "Uh, I can't even name one. But, want me to name all the Prime Ministers of Israel?"
For the record, he didn't.
How on Earth did I miss this?
"As President Bush took a question Thursday in the White House Rose Garden about scandals involving his Attorney General, he remarked, 'I've got confidence in Al Gonzales doin' the job.'
Simultaneously, a sparrow flew overhead and left a splash on the President's sleeve, which Bush tried several times to wipe off."
I've had many embarrassing events branded savagely onto my consciousness in my nearly twenty-seven years on this planet. From my childhood, we have moments like the Pantyhose Incident, numerous ill-timed incidents involving vomit (cue Zach singing "Fragile Little James"), and a few vague memories of little Jim running through the house in his mom's slip. My adult life (examples here, here, and here) has unfolded in a similar manner, though obviously lacking the cuteness factor that accompanies childhood innocence.
But, a bird has never sh*t on me. I've seen other people get sh*t on by birds, and I've had a few close calls walking across the South Lake Union neighborhood (with its population of geese and gulls) twice daily. But, I'd thus far considered myself lucky -- a bird has never taken a crap on me.
That is, I had considered myself lucky, until I read that quite the opposite is apparently true. Regarding President Bush and the sparrow, Deputy White House Press Secretary Dana Perino says, "It was his lucky day... everyone knows that's a sign of good luck."
Wait a minute. You mean it's a sign of good luck to be hit by bird droppings?
Well, sh*t.
Really, is it that hard to believe that I've spent over twenty-six years on this planet and NEVER had a professional massage? Since when did everyone else move to Versailles and leave me behind?
Perhaps I'll be in better spirits when I can leave the apartment.